Osama Bin Laden Enrolled in US University

Syracuse, NY - Osama bin Laden enrolled at Syracuse University today for the 2009 winter semester, according to University officials. University Chancellor Nancy Cantor said that SU officials have no idea why the internationally known terrorist had chosen SU over any other school of higher learning, adding, "It can't be for the weather, that's for sure."

Per a University spokesperson, bin Laden has not yet declared a major.